F FOR FRIENDS OR F FOR FOES?
Tough question, huh? I'm pretty sure everybody has questioned themselves for at least once. As for me? Zillion times. The first time I made friends was in the kindergarten and it didn't end well, I was abandoned, alone, yeah, by myself. The next time is the elementary school. I had about more than two groups. Well, literally split up and made a new one. During my elementary school time, I had about fives to six pal changes. Perhaps, it changes every single year. And in the middle school, I had a group of friends. It's funny to think back about it, because it's so cheesy back then.... To think about it is even very embarrassing for me...in a good way. LOL. So I had three girls with me during my first year in the middle school. One of them had a terrible for-a-silly-reason-fight with the other two, not with me haha, and so she decided to part ways with us. There we are, the three of us, recruiting new member, haha. We're back with four again until our last time together in the middle school. Luckily, I met again in the university with our ex-member haha...she is apparently taking the major in the faculty I'm in. And our other member, who previously had a fight with the 'ex-member', she is in the same university as us two. Fortunately, things are okay between us three. We're just acquaintances now. No fight, just hi. In the high school, I made friends with three simple girls, they're the best so far. They're so humble and the most important thing is that they could take me for what I am. I could be as open as I am with three of them. One of them is in the same university as me, the other one got to a nursery school, and the other one got a scholarship to become a teacher in a good university. I'm so proud of the three of them. In the university, I made friends with three stupid girls. They're so funny. And then because the two of them is not having the same major as me, we kinda part ways. I finally found 'friends' in my own major. At first there were six of us, but now it's narrowing down to four of us. I trust them at first, they're so funny and they're the new kind of friends I haven't found before. But now, as time taught me, I couldn't trust anyone like I used to be. But damn me! Sometimes, I get lost in this kind of friendship.
One thing I know for sure is that trusting and loving someone so much, will only eventually hurt me. All this time, I try my best, just being me. I'm so honest with them and give my best sincerity. But mother knows best. She told me that don't be fully honest or fully sincere to your friends, at least you have seen all the good and all the bad in them. It's too soon to call us best friends. It's even too soon to be fully sincere to them when I don't even know if they're sincere as big as I am to them. One thing for sure is that I have a friend now, she is so honest and sincere. That's one thing I like about her. Just look at her eyes and you'll know that she's honest and sincere, the kind of friend you want to have in your life. I'm pretty sure and I'm confident that she's the one that she's the one that can be my lifetime friend, the one I can totally be honest and sincere with. Being in a friendship is totally a good way and positive way for me. But it's also tiring. It hurts too. I wish I could have a boy friend, not a girl friend. I wonder how it feels. I'm sure boys won't be envy of you, because they're boys, not girls. xoxo
"Shoot my back with a bullet, since my back is bullet-proof, not knife-proof."
J FOR JUNE signing out